TRUTH

•May 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

The truth ALWAYS comes out… whether its today…tomorrow…next week…next month…a year from now…or even 20 years from now…the truth ALWAYS comes out… no matter what!!!

don’t learn your lesson the hard way…the truth will help you the lies will kill you…

PAIN

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

My life… is a lie… my Soul… is not alive… My body…is all that’s left… there is no more me. I’m gone. I’ve been gone. There’s not a whole lot left. So how can you sit there and say that you can change me? What’s there to change? I told you… there is no more me. How can you say you see my soul alive…when I saw it run away? How can you say there is hope for me… when I know there’s nothing left? If I’m alive… then I’m living in hell. Pain has made me insane. Why does pain not leave? If it’s here to hurt me, then it surely did succeed. Because it’s grown inside of me to the point where I’ve become numb. But no, you don’t understand me, No one really understands, not even some. No one really understands even though they claim to “care”… but honestly how much more is it that I can bare? How do you help one that doesn’t want to breathe? How much pain can a person take???? How can such a horrible pain ameliorate? I Swear to God I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m loosing my mind, and I’m loosing my time. I suffer and I grieve. I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t. I’m actually hurt so much greater then I think, I’ve only gotten worse; I’ve with standed so much and I cover it so well…I don’t know how to get help. I have a mask on… and no one really knows what’s underneath. I’m afraid to take it off. What will people think? The smiles I give everyday… are just as fake as me. What you see is not the real me. You don’t know what I go through… and no I’ve never really shared. I’m scared… I just want to rest in peace…I really don’t know what to do. I have all these feelings and no way to get rid of them. I feel like I have nothing to live for…I have so many questions but no answers. I don’t know where or who to run to. I’m tired of life and all the hell it has put me through…But this is what God has destined for me… I just don’t think I can succeed.

BROKEN

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I wake up with hope in my heart wanting to be loved. I spend myself in day dreamin,then when night falls i get my heart broken; once again. I was taken down. i had no intentions of breaking your heart but you broke mine repeatedly. you use me for however long you need me then you decide to throw me away. I’ve been patient all along and now i too will not be kind. Ive been leninent towards you but know now i will too leave you. i am now in peace i do not have to love you just to have my heart broken, What do you think? is it me or you who is so unfaithful only i would know for now you have lost realization. You repeatedly break my heart and i repeatedly love you back. I never had any bad intentions but i do not know about you either. what is love without haveing a heart broken and still fall back? what does your heart tell you?

TRUTH

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

My account of truth is a process in which i can act upon. If i am to realize the truth is solely based on my experience which in fact is an absolute truth, i can therefore say i have gained experience and reached truth. i have come to truth through mind, my mind which intellectually taught me to evade truth. Don’t tell me, show me the reality. my ideas are driven from idealistic skeptical extremists. i have an idea to give up either side and fall in between, as just a normal being who understands truth and does not give a damn about absolute truth. Argument seem to be insoluable for both sides do not agree with each other. Most people seem to be in the middle. Interesting way of putting myself in the middle. For now i know truth.

STRUGGLE

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

You are the best of my creations Allah says. He emphasizes on how much he loves you 70 times more then a mother does. He then talks about the test everyone will have to endure “Do you think that you will not be tested?” He then talks about the heaven and earth. “Garden of Bliss”. He repeateldy states to remember him. in life many times we will fall and many more times we will stand ourself up. There is always hope. even in the darkest of time. Like the saying goes, “When you give up on everythin, a ray of hope always awaits your calling.” you see so much in life and have to go through so much too. think of it like a blessing. you have to endure so much so early. InshAllah the time to come will be of ease and enjoyment. Always smile. it puts roses on your cheeks 🙂 plus the more you smile… the prettier you look 😉

EXISTENCE

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

How wonderful is life when you dont even know who you are. It’s a childhood taht passes so fast, then reality hits and what do you know. life takes you, and you’re on the ground. what i lack now is what i am to do not what i am to know. what is the objective truth? i construct a world in which i do not live but survive on the socities view. i recognize my soul as sahara desert’s thirst for water. i walk a path many already have and i do not understand. my ignorance is substantially grown so deep into lonliness, i am caught up with lies and i no longer see any butterflies. i do not know me anymore. i effectively do not know what i want. i can smile and have my eyes run dry.
I no longer have the willingness to walk. i choose to make choices but i am not free. i lost my vision then i will soon loose my mind. i am without excuses. i am fearfull. i am a hypocryte. i wander around in search of me and then i get stuck. i do not know who i am, what then i look for?I see myself tied up and scared to speak up. i sit and cry and i dont feel any pain. i ask myself questions just to realize i am insane. am I? i lack friends, for i do not reach out. i fly away and before i know it im thrown on the ground by my own weight. i have responsibility but i have no more freedom. my absolute freedom only lies in my mind. i am happy to be alone. i like my existence that i am a surviver. i have given up but i suffer and i am ok with it. i too will die someday. it’s a natural process of life!!

Im HaPyY…i lOvE————> iM sAd
I haVe No FeElInGs
I aM alIve…I SmILe———-> I WiLl dIe
i Am CrYiNG

JUDGE

•May 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Who am i to judge when the judger of all judges is watching over me; very closely. If I make a mistake, his judgement will be carried out on me. Reality is having your eyes opened to what is not comforting to your eyes. this is just my perception. your’s can be different. i grew up very early. you speak of death as if it has no meaning, dont do that to yourself. death is painful and that pain carries out onto people. life is beautiful. i dont know why it’s beautiful but it is and i choose it to be that way. faith keeps a person going and hope derives a soul. Everyone of us have flaws in us. flaws come and go. why do we have flaws? we are not perfect beings nor we can ever be. we realize we have flaws, we are open to reality. what is reality? imagine freedom. imagine a life so perfect you will never you will never have to kneel down and raise your hands. you talk of tears and pain. there is no greater pain then to be rejected by Allah’s mercy and him never answering you call. tears are joy when you think of him and call onto him. he may not respond to everything but do not be discouraged. All the prayers are being collected and saved for the here after. i stand tall but i look down becuase i know where my place is keep your feet on the ground but eyes on the sky where there is no end. Enjoy life to the fullest it might diminish the next second or next day or next month. precisely we know it will end at some point. if there are flaws in your life know they can be froced. If not today, tomorrow. flaws take time to fix. What is perfection? I love me. a direct statement. i spent many years neglecting my life. Why? i did not achieve anything. I grew out of it because i could’nt take it anymore. My anger taught me a few things. I was in denial. i was scared of the reality. i was not ready to come out of my corner. my life. my decision. i choose to be happy because i have to be.